Tuesday, December 21, 2010

My Pursuit of Happiness

I was feeling pretty good about my triumphs, taking over little parcels of land one square inch at a time.  My opponent in the game of Othello was a master of the art and I a mere novice, so to see the board nearly covered in my color was extremely satisfying.  But in the end, my sister stealthily turned all my tokens against me and captured the board.   Her conquest amounted to only about a square foot of territory, yet I was devastated.  When she noted my dejection she apologized, “I’m sorry—I had no idea you thought you could actually beat me.”
Years later, my husband and I bought our first piece of property—one that couldn’t be reclaimed by a sleight of hand.  Whether on a game board or a city block, we feel a pride in ownership.
John Locke inspired Thomas Jefferson to list our unalienable rights as “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” but Locke’s original thought was “Life, liberty and property.”  It’s a fitting exchange because freedom of opportunity brings happiness, whether that pursuit is external (property) or internal (our well-being).  Even when our efforts are less than successful, we still have the opportunity to try again . . . or move on to other challenges. 
I’ve never met my sister in a rematch of Othello but I did win her at . . . No, . . . What about . . . hmmm?  She’s got me there, too.  Hey, it’s not about winning or losing but how you pursue the game.


Finding My Gem in the Geode
Have you ever read a book that just made you mad?  I was so peeved at the protagonist of The Virginian that I started asking some serious questions.  And it changed my life.

Five years ago I read a western novel for a class I was taking.  The book was about a man who risked everything to shoot his enemy.  When I was challenged to write an essay about it I asked myself why he would risk losing both his life and the woman he loved in order to fight.  I saw that he had to or that enemy would haunt him all his days.  Then I asked myself if I had an enemy that haunted me and the profound realization struck me that I did.

Only my enemy was more insidious—it was my own self-doubts.  
So I envisioned myself in the middle of a dirt road, squaring off to meet my opponent in a western-style showdown. I shot the shadow that filled my head with negative thoughts about myself and I haven’t let it “darken my sites” since.  I conquered the enemy within.
Freed from the burden of self-doubt, I fell in love with life.  I discovered the joy of joining hands with the Creator in seeking His inspiration to craft my own creations.  

That’s one facet of my story.  Owning the pursuit of my happiness helped me square up to my responsibility to value myself and the gifts God has given me.

3 comments:

  1. Oh dear, what an obnoxious sister you had! Trouble is, no one will play othello with her any more. =)

    I am thoroughly enjoying every one of your blog posts. Keep them coming!!!

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  2. I love this idea of permanently disposing of our self doubts, I think it's my turn for a shot. Thanks for your insights!

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